shitster.

Being angry and being precise are not mutually exclusive.

Every big brand should carry a shitster budget. I believe that completely. A line item, right next to legal: provision for customers who actually read the contract. If your margin depends on ten thousand people never using the rights your own lawyers wrote down, I am not a troublemaker. I am an unpriced risk.

Unfairness annoys me. Doesn't matter if it lands on me or on someone I will never meet. I can't help it, I have stopped trying to help it, and at some point I decided to stop treating that as a personality flaw and start treating it as a roadmap.

And I love legal arbitrage. Genuinely, as a subject. The gap between what a rule was written for and what a rule permits is where every interesting fight lives. Companies figured this out long before I did: the arbitration clause, the class waiver, the batching schedule, the opt-out window that expired before you knew it opened. That is legal arbitrage run against consumers, at scale, on retainer. shitster is the same craft pointed the other way. They wrote the clauses. We read them. Every tool here turns one person's anger into the exact paperwork those same contracts already entitle them to. No accounts. No stored data. No fees. Nothing is sent on your behalf. The tool prepares, the human acts.

What I hold

Liability should not shrink as harm scales. When a contract makes it cheaper per person to wrong a million people than to wrong one, that clause is not procedure, it is a volume discount on wrongdoing.
The drafter of the rules cannot be their beneficiary. Terms that one side rewrites at will, with opt-out windows that expired before you knew they existed, are not agreements. They are weather.
Aggregation for me but not for thee is immunity, not procedure. The same documents that ban class actions mandate batching when it cuts the company's fees. Collective action is either legitimate or it is not. Pick one.

Exhibit: the referee playing striker

The European Union writes consumer protection like it invented the genre, and I agree with half of it. USB-C on everything: correct, I hated the cable drawer too. But read Directive 2022/2380's category list. Phones, tablets, cameras, headphones, e-readers, keyboards, mice. It stops, precisely, where Europe's own brands live. My Philips Sonicare still charges on a proprietary puck, legally, because personal-care devices never made the list. The common charger rule reached Cupertino and somehow never made it to Amsterdam.

Same move, bigger stakes. The Digital Markets Act forces "gatekeepers" to open their platforms to third parties. The first six companies designated: Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, ByteDance, Meta, Microsoft. Notice a pattern. Now try running a third-party app on a European MRI console. Try pulling your own telemetry out of a European wind turbine you bought without paying its manufacturer for the privilege. Try getting your house switches to take orders from software the building industry did not bless. Interoperability is a human right when the closed interface is American, and a safety feature when it is European. That two-facedness has nothing to do with me personally. It annoys me anyway. Especially then.

An open interface mandate is a consumer rights law disguised as a tech regulation, or it is an industrial policy disguised as a consumer rights law. You can tell which one you are reading by checking who is exempt.

Campaigns

CAMPAIGN 01
DashOff
BMW put a movie ad on the dashboards of cars people own, on a screen it once called a private space. Generate your notice of dispute in the browser and mail it yourself. My car is not your billboard.
live at dashoff.org
CAMPAIGN 02
Your nomination
Every campaign starts with one person reading the fine print angry. If a company deserves a shitster, open an issue with the contract clause and what they did.

How it works

Everything runs in your browser. Documents are generated client-side and never touch a server. The code is public, the legal reasoning cites the actual contracts (committed to the repo as evidence), and every claim is reviewed adversarially before it ships. When we are wrong, the issue tracker is right there.